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Category Archives: Pittsburgh

The Wrath of Andrew Carnegie

31 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by mattbuchholz in Pittsburgh

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$20

While steel magnate Andrew Carnegie’s diminutive physical stature is well-known, his experiments with growth serum in the early 1900s are less known today. The philanthropist summoned his greatest engineers and chemists to Pittsburgh in 1902, where he conducted secret tests to increase his size. Carnegie claimed that the resulting Electro-Tonic-Growth-Serum that would be a boon to all mankind as his “platoon of twenty-story giants would beready to patrol the nations and keep the peace overseas.” Tragically, the ETGC caused problems with the neural network, leading to a temporarily insane Carnegie destroying the town he helped to create.

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An Unidentified Floating Craft Above Fifth Avenue

31 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by mattbuchholz in Pittsburgh

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$15

A bustling scene in downtown Fifth Avenue, highlighted by a startling sight: the appearance of a floating disc, what some might call a “flying saucer.” Coincidentally, it was ten years later to the day when Voldar the Intolerant first made his appearance in city council.

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The Mind of Henry Clay Frick

31 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by mattbuchholz in Pittsburgh

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$20

A 5 x 7 portrait of Henry Clay Frick, showcasing his robotic computer brain. Description below.

Henry Clay Frick was an imposing titan of industry; the cold hatchet man to Andrew Carnegie’s cherubic philanthropist. Yet there was a reason to his calculating disregard for the cost and quality of life; he had the ro-botic brain of an adding machine! Injured in a factory accident in 1891, Frick’s badly mangled brain was replaced by a technologically advanced, steam-powered adding machine encased in a glass and steel dome. This allowed Frick to make the “tough decisions” with no emotional involvement and also meant that he did not need to wear a hat in inclement weather.

President Taft at the Allegheny Club

31 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by mattbuchholz in Pittsburgh

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$20

In 1909 President William Howard Taft visited the Allegheny Country Club to meet with a collection of leaders of state, men of stature, and Urno the Ape with the Brains of Ten Men. Taft (front row, eighteenth from the left) and Urno agreed on most matters but differed greatly on the cause of Latin American manifest destiny. Taft’s “Dollar Diplomacy” policies clashed with Urno’s “Bananas, Bananas, Bananas!” manifesto, causing a rift between the 27th president and the super-intelligent ape that many historians believe cost Taft re-election.

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Zombies in Schenley Park

31 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by mattbuchholz in Pittsburgh

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$20

An 11 x 17 digital print featuring all manner of Zombie mayhem. Suitable for framing! The description of the event is as follows:

“An idyllic scene in Schenley Park, with a view of the magnificent Panther Hollow bridge. Then, as now, Pittsburgh was a city beset by the living undead or “zombies” as they are known in the vernacular. In this case the genteel ladies seem untroubled by the appearance of the ghouls. No doubt their manservant is crouching beside the photographed with a raw steak around his neck, ready to lure them away, as was the custom at the time. Due to innovative methods like this, only 27% of the landed gentry suffered attacks by the undead in 1900-1910.”

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